Not buying maternity clothes is like refusing a Xanax on an airplane. Don’t be a hero.
A couple of weeks ago, when I was 18 weeks pregnant, a woman I barely know, but who must now in retrospect be considered a saint, gave me a stack of hand-me-down maternity clothes.
I never would have purchased this stuff myself, because I secretly harbor paranoia that the entire baby and maternity industry is a racket trying to squirm its grubby hand into my chubby pocket and convince me I need bullshit like nursing pajamas.
Sometimes, I’m wrong. I still think the maternity industry jacks up prices because it has a captive and nervous audience, but Old Navy and Gap maternity basics are the shit. Get yourself a Gap Maternity Cami with built in bra for $19.50 and you will never take it off.
The thing about maternity clothes is that they aren’t just bigger, they are cut differently, roomier in the right places and in many cases, with a band of extra-wide, yummy elastic where the waistband of your jeans or skirt or cargo pants would normally be. Any mom knows this, but it was news to me. Even if you aren’t that big, maternity clothes are like Ugg boots for your gut, so comfortable you don’t mind looking like you just stepped out of a food court in Lodi clutching a shopping bag from Claire’s.
And if you hand your maternity clothes over to another pregnant girl when the breeding is all over, you can at least relish the knowledge that in some small way, you are sticking it to The Man.